the genesis of space shark

Tormented by the blistering pace of the big city, Samir decided to take a week off and go to the local forest preserve for some peace of mind. Samir had been working for the National Fishery for three decades, so he had seen his fair share of fish. But nothing could ever have prepared him for the long series of unfortunate events that he was subjected to during his week off. Things were going fine until about the third day on the trails. Samir developed a nagging itch on the back of his neck, "prolly some poison oak." Too far along the trail to turn back, with no mirror to examine the rash, Samir began to be consumed by a penetrating agony eminating from his upper spine and manifesting itself in boiling blisters vulcanizing below his hairline. By the fourth day, the pain harassed him so much that he began to dig into the boils with the tip of his Swiss army knife, not knowing that this only made the boils hungrier. By the fourth night, Samir was debilitated and the boils began to consume the food and water in his backpack. On the fifth day, around noon, he was awakened by a large grizzly bear. Too much in pain to be afraid of the bear, Samir listened to the bear speak to him like James Earl Jones: "Sir, you are at death's door. Only I can help you." Samir tried to gather enough air in his lungs to talk but quickly realized it was pointless. The bear continued: "I will take you to the nearby lagoon. There, you will be able to relieve yourself of this horrible condition." Samir uttered a sigh of appreciation, and the bear heaved up Samir's dying body onto his back, Samir's head laying comfortably on the patch of fur just above the bear's tale. They walked slowly to the lagoon, which had in the middle of it a large pod-shaped structure. Before putting Samir down, the bear said: "Now, I ain't doin' all this taxi shit for free, Sir." Samir swallowed a huge glob of mucus and pain resonated through his entire body. The bear continued: "While you're up there, why don't you go ahead and lick my nuts." A huge shock wave rattled Samir's entire being, bucking him off the bear's back, onto his two feet. This made the bear incredibly irritated, so it let out a sonic roar and took a full-clawed swipe at the back of Samir's neck. The impact instantly blew up all of Samir's massive pussing blisters, releasing three or four dozen baby sharks out of the blisters into the lagoon. The baby sharks swam excitedly towards the pod in the lagoon, as Samir lay dead on the shore, in a pool of blood and puss. The bear ran off into the woods. The first baby shark swam frantically to the pod and set off the pod's rumbling engines. The entire lagoon began to bubble up into a corrosive-acidic liquid, consuming Samir's corpse. At the same instant, the pod began to elevate itself steadily upwards out of the lagoon, propelled by the engines. As the pod rose higher and higher, its top split open like a mouth, revealing 3 sets of serrated-blade teeth embedded in metallic flesh. As the pod propelled itself ever higher, a considerable dorsal fin materialized alongside 2 intimidatingly large pectoral fins. Meanwhile the bear had climbed up to the top of the highest tree in the forest, observing the events in the lagoon below from up above. The bear looked on as this enormous fish-like, mechanical object propelled itself higher and higher into the sky. Higher and higher into the atmosphere it went, into a void where time no longer has any meaning.